2006 September


If you need to use the phone to ask for some advice
On taxes or some other bill that’s due,
To speak to someone “live” and not recorded would be nice, but
It’s something that you rarely get to do!

The Automated Answering Machine is what you’ll get,
Inviting you to listen to a choice
Of topics that you may or may not want - it’s up to you
To pick one - or keep listening to the Voice!

Press one for this or two for that or three for something else,
If you can tell which catagory you are.
And if you haven’t got a clue, don’t panic, it’s OK,
You’ve always got the option of the Star!

You may get put onhold and gently serenaded whilst
The minute hand goes round and round again;
Although your call’s important to them, don’t think that will stop
Them keeping you at “queue position ten”!

Your call may be recorded and then used - for who knows what!
Could government spies be running short of data?
If you let slip your gas bill is now four days overdue,
Then that would be a really hot potata!

Take heed all those who’d risk it for you may be gone some time,
Inform your neighbours, if you live alone.
Prepare a flask of coffee to sustain you just in case
You get left “hanging on the telephone”!

Annie Yaxley

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